day 16, letter-writing

all I asked from you was
respect
and truth
my love returned
effort matched
you watched
as I burned
in your lies
shallow derision
you should know
I'm beautiful
I'm whole
I'm deserving
so thank you for letting
me go

day 15, the middle

caught between longing
for beautiful times since past
and anticipating, waiting
to become
will I ever be happy
or loved or complete
or content in the middle
where things stand still

day 11, rejecting the prompt

staring into the pitch black night
nothing but stars
missing my city lights
a simpler existence
a slower pace
fighting a constant longing ache
that can't be shut out
by a change of place
never finding that missing piece

day 10, portrait

animated brown eyes
hint of mania
stiff forced smile
to hide the pain
soft brown hair
a touch of curl
shrill excitement
awkward grace
dancing through
a too-short race

day 9, 9 lines, magic nine

every carefully planned stage
revolved around them
a balm to soothe her rage
meaning for him, a way to connect
a guide to navigate old age
healing for decades of abuse
a key to unlock the pain-filled cage
tied to their tiniest whim
only seen as a personal stage

day 8, repetition

work hard, play hard

never enough

work hard, no fun

never enough

play hard, slack off

never enough

fall in love, give them your all

never enough

change everything, improve everything

never enough

achieve their goals

never enough

achieve your goals

never enough

day 7, luck and fortuitousness

a picture at the right time

fireworks on cue
a hand when loneliness overwhelmed

encouragement to take a leap
a life forever changed
for good 

day 6, different points of view

a hero and role model
someone he strives to be
a life partner and lost love
she loses herself in grief
a harmless, dirty old man
they pity what he had become
an abuser, torturer, tormentor,
she can never forgive

day 5, nature

cobweb lightning stabbing 

behind the eyes

and in the dimming sky

pressure building

in the temples

and tingling atmosphere

dull thunderous roars 

in the distance

and in the head

the tension breaks

as rain falls

mixed with tears

twofer

Day 3, an elegy

Sondheim and Phantom
the tunes of our summers
and weekends.
state fairs, show tunes,
Pictionary, polka,
turtles, tears,
movies and matinees.
a soul mate and kindred spirit
taken from the world
too soon.
"not a day goes by" when I
won't "think of you".


Day 4, an enigma

soft cotton sheets,
her favorite roses,
sun beams on a brick road
to Oz. a twist
of lemon and joy
inside out over
the color of her hair.

Day 2, A Recipe

combine all ingredients:

passion, obsession,

anxiety, depression,

intensity, feminism,

loyalty, optimism,

honesty, sympathy,

compassion, empathy,

kindness, constant need to perfect,

loneliness, and hearts that have seen

much neglect

Another year, another NaPoWriMo

Day 1, I may be a little rusty at this (and I'm not really up to the prompt)

staring at the screen
again. anxiety strangling
every thought with
thorn covered what if vines.
what if
I fail
I'm always alone
I never help him
or her
or anyone
ever
the things that I do
are forgotten by the
family I never could have.