day 30, final day of NaPoWriMo

waiting

for an answer

tired

of this purgatory

asking

searching

praying

looking

into nothingness

the bend in the road

reveals

monotonous, unending sameness

dead inside

cold-hearted

feeling

only you

day 27-29, no prompts for me

laughter that is canned
a smile that reveals
an emptiness beneath
an outward caricature
of carefree charming
and happiness in nothing
a lie that shows your truth
but only to the one
who loves you from afar


--------


pavement pounding
blood in your ears 
a friend at your side
lights surrounding
pushing through fears
nowhere left to hide


---------


lost in a painting
I never could share
encircled by loved ones
but outside the inside
looking on at something 
I never could keep
walking down the path
to answers 
not for me 

day 26

sun shining

eyes searching

soul warming

heart searching

so close

so close

day 25, boo to ballads

turns in the road
covered in mist
walking forward
unclear of what's next
light peeks through
a densely packed fog
shut out again
by the branches
of a harsh reality

day 24, self-portraits

shining red in a sea of white
blue grey clouds
that mist and alight
strength that covers inner pain
love and hope that go to waste
empty hands waiting to hold
another soul left in the cold

day 23, triolets do not interest me

minutes tick on
rolling side to side
arms becoming numb
hours begin to slide
unending thoughts
sheep come to no aid
insomnia laughs
while through nightmares you wade

days 20, 21, and 22 sometimes I just don't get around to the internets

day 20 - assigned words

a joy miraculous 
yet ever elusive
a heart has absconded
an ego bruised
a love mercurial 
twice squandered
the ghosts of the past
lost in a bitter wind

day 21 - lines for fortune cookies

your selfless deeds will one day be rewarded
your hard work will succeed in achieving your goals
do not lose hope and happiness will find you
love will come when you least expect it
you will feel better after eating these comforting lies

day 22 - earth day

disappearing in clouds
lost to the fog
so close to the storms
you could almost touch the gods
looking out on water of bluest blue
with peaking waves of green and grey
a haven from the snow and rain
a sanctuary to the smell of spring
where we hide from the sun
and marvel at stars
a cozy nest
a castle in the sky
is haunted with our former selves 

day 19, poetical personal ads

independent
honest
loyal
unrequited lover
looking for
something that was
honest
real
scary
beautiful
and is long
lost

day 18, same words

when the storms stop pouring down
and the sun shines on my face again
when prayers are answered 
and inner peace is achieved
when strength and hard work are finally enough
and the good things start happening
when the stars and planets finally align
and destiny catches up
when I finally remember how to smile
and hearts begin to mend themselves
I'll find what I've been searching for
but when?

day 17, greetings

I respond to your call

treading cautiously

still new to my surroundings

and wary of trust

searching the crowd for something familiar

peering across a busy street

rewarded with that smile

rushing toward your arms

where I imprudently feel safe

melting into those rakish eyes

"hello"

day 16, interpretive translations

Is pailmseist mo chorp 
faoi do lámha, 
paipír ársa 
scrollaithe fút, 
ag tnúth le do rian. 
Glanaim mo chraiceann, 
sciúraim siar é 
go pár báiteach 
ionas go bpúchfaidh 
do lámh mar 
dhúch tatuála, 
ag líníocht thar 
línte dofheicthe 
gach fir eile. 

Níl faic ach tusa 
scrábáilte ar mo chorp.


his palms are more clean
than the gods,
paper is
scrolling fast,
and heavy in the rain.
gleaming more crystalline,
silver sure I
am for bathing
in my bareness
the god of sea
takes control,
and listens there
lined defectively
with her eyes.

no face is torn
scrabbling to be clean.

day 15

let direction come to those
who do not know they're lost
answers to those 
who have not begun to seek
peace to those 
who do not recognize their pain
love to those
too afraid to give
faith to those 
who do not believe
happiness to those
rejoicing in their miseries
a hand to those
who think they're better alone
unity to those
who are broken
and sanity to a world
that is choking

day 14

letting go of another
lost cause
stepping back out
in a blinding new world
tethered to the ones
who protect me from pain
fumbling earnestly
for the next step
of my road

day 13, walkly observations

the April air smells like spring
and snow
the breeze is warm
the wind cold
sun peaks through clouds
heating outside to in
relief floods through
a war torn soul

day 12, honesty is the best policy

I know all your secrets

even the ones you never tell

I hold them along with my own

in my secret prison cell

I keep them next to

my frozen heart

I keep them silent

I won't fall apart

I knew all the lies

you told for my sake

I no longer believe in love

it's the last part of me I let you take

day eleven tankas

gloomy, cold, and wet
tired sighs of grief and pain
searching for relief
the inner sunshine still glows
karma will be on my side

day 10, an un-love poem

ever faithful

always truthful

comfortable in my place in the world

pursuing passions

compassionate and caring

constantly giving 

never asking for more

making sacrifices

letting go of differences

wanting only love

striving to be my best

and the only thing I ever longed for

I could never work hard enough for

knowing that I was not wrong

acknowledging that you are the lost one

letting go of holding on

killing the last of my love

noir for the ninth

grey days

bitter cold wind

the never-stopping downpour 

of rain

the dirty sidewalks

pour the grief of a city

into the trash-filled gutters

that are it's heart

day 8, I'll pass on iambic pentameter

the smell of chocolate wafting on the air
warm breezes rolling off the lake
big band music drifting from the park
sun salutations as it rises in the east
lingering brunch outside in the shade
picnics around a fire 
walks on the beach
twinkling lights on a darkened skyline
bursts of light over the pier
fading into the past

day 7

I finally found
inner peace
the missing parts
courage
and strength
comfort in knowing
who I am
and what I want

I finally found
my self respect
the way to make it work
and to fix what's broken
an opinion
a voice
but always just a little bit
too late

day 6, valediction

goodbyes don't come easy

refusing to let go

holding on to scraps of happy memories

trying to forget the bad

acknowledging lies

rage and sorrow

loneliness and denial

resignation

they're never coming back

day 5, trying out a cinquain

the lake 

and the skyline

the jazz that fills the air

remembering the night and that

first kiss

day 4, Abundance of Onslaught

hope joy expectation
anger leading to 
self-deprecation
depression sorrow
all the while weeping
bargaining praying
feeling too deeply
hating them
loving them
missing them 
fearing them
waking sleeping
nightmares and dreams
headed for the top
before collapsing
under the onslaught

day 3, wherein I refuse to attempt to write a sea chanty

quiet dark
waiting for the peace to click
silent shouts to a God
that never seems to hear
but once
searching for answers
you never find
but know
sending out love to the ones
you've lost
but love on
sinking into the peace 
of forgiveness
but never forgetting
and
click

day two, trying out the prompt

free from anguish

ready to move on

conquering my demons

comfortable alone

over missing you

over your rejection

finding someone new

to fill the need for affection

no more pain

no more sorrow

happy at last

things I am

not

Day 1, I may be a little rusty at this

scars long since faded 
of urges that remain
under the skin
trails of red
covered in ink
to stave off pain